Season of Giving

 



So Christmas is the time of year for giving and I'm feeling the giving part, but very little else. Maybe its because I am avoiding the belief that break will be coming to a close or that very soon I'm going to be super busy decorating a tree and baking like crazy. Regardless the Christmas season has not fully taken hold of me. I'm just relaxed and at peace. I got all my Christmas shopping done which is huge, but I will find out tomorrow if we still have things to buy for the rest of the family. I have to say the gifts I have gotten together are pretty great. I can't wait to watch the owners open them, I can't really explain the feeling it gives me to surprise someone and make them happy. I honestly sit back and just like watching people unwrap their gifts before I open my own. My gifts are great this year because I basically picked them all out. I picked out some epic clothes, great books, and have even got to play
Just Dance 4. I can't wait to get the crown jewel though: iphone5...soon lol.

Just as soon I have to start the baking line with my dad and make all the amazing cookies and candies. A list probably including: Chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, snicker doodle cookies, oatmeal butterscotch cookies, peanut butter balls, toffee, fudge, cake balls, and maybe even pie. Yes I know we are crazy, but we do it every year and its become a tradition. Traditions like my sister and I exchanging one gift on Christmas Eve and us bringing down the tree with the million ordiments we own. Speaking of ornaments, that the other tradition in which my sister and I get a new ornament every year...this year mine is a squirrel. Its very me if I say so myself. This house can be suffocating and also rejuvenating during the holiday season. It can bring out the good and the bad, but family is like that. I like having a home I can go to, but I also like having my own space...so my hope for this new year is to find a place of my own outside of my home, for my sanity I need it.  Here's hoping Santa can bring this Christmas Miracle to pass.

Smiling

Hmmm so this holiday weekend has been one of the best I have experienced in a while. I got to eat plenty with family and feel more than comfortable in my own skin. Nothing like it if you ask me and a long time coming. Heck I even got my uncle, health nut himself, asking how I lost the weight. He was so sweet telling my mom I looked so good which only made me happier. Then I got the great job of waking up early and going Black Friday shopping with the family. I mean a girl needs new clothes after loosing weight and feeling good right? I would say great food and awesome Christmas shopping would make any weekend great but I got a little more than that.

For one I got one of my closest friends back. Its weird to think that I lost her, but hey life works like that and we forgive and forget. I had the best time texting her and talking about all the awesomeness that is our lives...lol, realistically its all the craziness and boredom. She is truly an amazing person and I am so happy she is back around, not saying it hasn't been weird, but I couldn't think of a year at school without her...that's my boo lol. The Dynamic Duo is back and I doubt anyone is ready for that!!!

Second, I have the best roommates in the world!!! They have been nothing but awesome and its hard to think one of them won't be returning in January. Its not goodbye though cuz she will return!!!  Regardless this break is nothing but awesome with their crazy text messages and kewl tumblr posts. They are AWESOME!!! lol (I guess I am making a love letter to all these people at this point but my intention I swear is to tell what has been what lately.) These two have kept me smiling with random messages, supportive words, and my favorite is the flashbacks to crazy apartment times from this past term. Its funny how close we have all gotten, funny to me because I have only known them for a 1.5 years, but that being said I wouldn't change it for the world. When you click with people it just works and we all just work in an awesome way. As different as we are we all kinda balance each other and I know these will be my girls forever!

Lastly, speaking of clicking I guess I have to bring to light the fact that everything seems to be clicking into place for me. Its weird and I don't want to speak to soon (knock on wood) but I am happier then I have ever been. I am happy in terms of feeling comfortable with myself and who I have become. I think it shows in my smile and my choices. I am smiling for me, for the person I am becoming, for the things I have accomplished and will accomplish, for the amazing friends I have, for the way someone makes me feel...lol. Mind you I am not saying things are perfect, but I am just perfectly happy with the imperfections. Life is what you make it and I'm living mine and taking chances...even falling into things I never thought possible. Here's Hoping you stay smiling too!

Fresh View and Parting Potatoes



Ok so its been quite a while since my last post so I guess I need to recap people on my life. I student taught for an amazing 10 weeks or so. I couldn't have more amazing students and my co-operating teacher was more than I could ask for. I really have grown as a teacher and feel confident in myself now which is a huge improvement from where I was. I have interest in staying in the area to teach, but we will see where life takes me. I have no idea about my future or where I am going to find a home. I am basically just a growing tree that has so many branches...but I want to find some roots too. I guess I am finding bits and pieces of myself and what I deserve. Its funny how things just started going really well when I take on the biggest adult challenge of my life, but I guess life works in funny ways. I meet amazing people and find like a pure happiness that I haven't really had before. Yet, I have to watch each step I make, I can't just fall because as my mother warns me the bottom falls when you least expect it. If you fall into bliss its likely things are too good to be true and the bottom won't be there to catch you. You have to stay grounded no matter how you feel inside...even if I want to jump and scream with pure happiness lol. To be honest this journey has been a rough one, but I am so glad I went on it and the amazing people I have met on the way have made it worth it.

Some of those amazing people are leaving to follow their own paths though which brings me to my goodbye letter to the amazing friends who have graduated and moved on. It hurts me to say goodbye not because this is the end of our friendship, but because I don't know how long it will be before I see your smiling face again. Too be honest any length of time beyond a day is weird to think about and way to long for me. I know you are off to do amazing things and be awesome as always, but its hard for me to know my family is leaving. Each of you have played an amazing, important role in my Knox family even if you don't realize it. I couldn't have had as much fun with out you or grown as much with out you. Each of you pushed me and helped me find me, but you also showed me so much love on so many occasions that I could fill a book. Before you leave this place know that regardless of the papers, classes and hours of partying done here that you made a difference and are part of something larger than you know. I will always be here for you and I hope regardless the reason that I can still call you and bug you for hours...even if it's on a potato phone. Much Love and Keep Smiling!! Here's Hoping You Find What You Need!

New Beginnings

So I made it back to Knox and I moved in only to run straight to the school I am teaching at this term ASAP for a meeting with a parent. I basically spent the whole day moving and got up to do the same. I'm not complaining because I chose this career, but it just makes this all too real too fast. I have always been a person who grew up too fast and wanted to be older...in some cases I had to be the adult and take care of things that I shouldn't have. In this situation though I know this is my last year of school and the closing of one door and the opening of another. Its scary to start something new and go out into the "real" world. Its hard for me to wrap my head around it right now so I am just trying to live in the moment and try not to look too far ahead. Student teaching makes it hard though because it makes it all to real the path I have chosen and the fact that I am going on my last easy year. Life is going to get hard fast and I have a lot of responsibility falling on me if I am ready or not. I guess it worries me that I'm not ready or that things might not go well when I'm the stand alone teacher, but I guess I will just have to find out. There is no turning back and regardless of the fear I don't think I would want to. I have followed the path to become a teacher the last 3 years, but it wasn't until last term I could say with certain that this is what I wanted to do...more importantly that this is what I want to be. This term is going to test me and be different then anything I have ever faced, but I'm going to face it with grace. I know I'll be stressed and freaked out....ehhh whats the worst that could happen right? lol
Here's hoping it all goes well!