Poetry In Motion

"You might get lost in the rhythm, you might get lost in the rhyme, but if you keep the flow your passion will never die."-me

I know it sounds crazy and almost weird, but just in the past hour everything is coming together for me. I'm falling into place and finding some comfort with everything (not sure how long it will last, but...yea lol). I am feeling my life right now is poetry in motion.

Let me break it down: The way I see it, sometimes you can get into the rhythm, feeling yourself when reading or reciting poetry, but when you write it sometimes it is so hard to get started. For me when its something I haven't done in a while or never done at all it is even more pressure and fear.  Once you get past the starting gate though the words just come to life and they flow off the page.

Currently my life has been like that, I have all these fears with starting all these new things: choreographing, dancing, writing lessons, teaching. I mean there is just a lot going on and I have been feeling so overwhelmed. So overwhelmed in fact that I have been questioning what I am doing and if it is really for me. I want to do well not just for me, but so many other people in my life in one way or another, so I figure that's where the fear comes from. I fear that I am making the wrong decisions and in turn going to let people down. My life has been through more ups and downs then one can imagine. I keep all the crazy tailored back so know one can see it or realize how much of a mess I am. I am trying to be strong and deal with all this fear and frustration.

Yet, I found peace today...I danced my hardest and felt amazing. Yes, I need practice and get it down more before saturday, but you know what...that's life. Dance is my poetry. I may pick up on most the steps and fear the ones I can't remember or don't have down perfectly, but that's what practice is for. I am on a practice cycle with life right now. I am learning how to be a teacher and I won't be perfect, same thing with choreographing...I'm gonna learn and get better. The poem isn't over it is still being written, I'm feeling it out and trying to find the right words.
Here's Hoping I remember this and don't freak out!

Teaching

So I am an elementary education major...so I shouldn't be freaked out by having to do a 20min lesson right? Think Again. I am freaked the heck out! I LOVE kids and teaching/ helping them like I did at the preschool last term. I know that I love teaching, though I don't have a full grasp of how yet. My biggest fear is that I screw this project up and get told that I just don't have it in me to be a teacher. Honestly, I think I would cry. More then anything I want this; I have the patience and the passion. My fear is that I don't have the skills. I know as I said in my last post: live one day at a time, but I'm still a little worried about this because I know this assignment is coming up soon. I know I can talk in front of a class, but it still is a nerve recking thing especially if it is my peers. To me teaching them is scarier then any kindergartner because these guys will have no trouble knowing if I am wrong or realizing my mistakes. Regardless I have to do this to become a teacher and I will get through it...some how I will no matter how nervous I maybe. Practice makes perfect I guess. In other news I start my fieldwork at one of the schools in town on Monday. I am kinda excited to be working with kids again mixed with a little nerves because I don't know what to expect. Here's Hoping it all goes well!