Happy Valentines Day!

So today is one of those holidays that some love, some hate, and some just work through. I personally am indifferent. I grew up giving out little valentines with candy at school, but then things began to change. Some where down the line things turned into so much more. Why do children grow up so fast? When do cards and lollipops turn into roses and giant teddy bears? I wish I could answer these questions, but it seems things change with out me even realizing. There was a point when I hated this day, mainly because things changed and this day became another day to remind me of how alone I was. I've been lucky enough to have a bf on this day in the past, but to be honest as I have grown up this day has meant less and less to me no matter my relationship status.  It is a day symbolized hearts and chocolate, nothing much more. I am happy to see couples having fun and spending time with each other on this day, yet its just another day to me, maybe a little better considering I had this amazing feeling of love from all my friends. One day I will find someone to share this day with, but its ok if I don't have them now, but when they do show up lol...all I think I truly want is one flower as my gift. Nothing fancy or chocolate covered, just a cut plant brought to me by someone who loves me for me. Call me simple or old fashioned, but I don't want a lot. There is more to life then gifts and there is definitely more to love. Here's Hoping!

The Road Less Traveled

There is something about the road less traveled, or at least not traveled by me, that is scary and at the same time intriguing. Where does it go? What will happen while your on it? These are questions that go unanswered if you don't take a chance and travel down the road. We all get so caught up in our lives and our own routines, sometimes you have to take a chance and branch out. I've been trying to do that for a month now and have been having some success at it. I guess I question if I am following a different, maybe better path or if I am forcing myself down a path that truly is pushing it. I know I want to take risks and be someone different, but at the same time I'm not sure if I am pushing who I am. I want to uncover a stronger side to myself, be a better, wiser person. I guess I just want to branch out and try and be more like the people I am around, yet I still struggle slightly with who I have been forever. I've put myself in this box for so long that it is hard to do anything different. In some ways it is at least comforting to know that I am surrounding myself with people I trust, people that will watch out for me and hopefully protect me from falling too hard. I guess I'm just at a weird place in that I don't know if I should continue this large step out of my comfort zone or travel down my familiar path. So when you are thinking about the road less traveled consider it isn't as simple as it seems, there are no guarantees, and people are all quite different. I know personally the road less traveled is confusing and making me wonder if I made the right choice. Here's Hoping!!!

Driving Myself Crazy

So far so good, not only am I taking 3.5 credits and struggling to keep up with stuff I am observing in a 1st grade classroom. I know I am just stressing because it is a busy term for me, but still. I got to juggle things better. At least I have done better with keeping myself happy. I tried out for Terp and made it into 2 dances which is exciting. I began working out again and I basically go almost everyday if I can. So besides driving myself crazy I am running like crazy too....lol. I think I need the workout just to keep my sanity though lol. It calms me and makes me feel good about myself so I guess I can't complain. There is something about working out that gives me the meditation I need. I love seeing myself in the mirror and I am actually proud of myself and how I look now. As far as I know I'm doing pretty well in all my classes and some how maintaining a grip on reality. I guess that would more have to do with the "dark" weekends that allow me to blow off steam with my favorite people. I'm making it through this term one weekend at a time! lol

In other news: I have really stuck to me resolution this year, beyond the workout thing. I have let go...I'm not chasing anyone or wanting anything besides respect and trust from those closest to me. I am strong and powerful beyond measure. One day someone will see that, but today...tomorrow...the rest of my college existence I'm not expecting much. I'm just going to enjoy myself, laugh as much as possible, and be around all those amazing people who make my life fun. I'm taking on new adventures and loving it...mind you I am still nervous and shy, but you might be surprised what this girl will get herself into. Here's Hoping I keep it up!!!

New Year Begins 2012

So what is your New Years Resolution?
I use to not make them, but hey I think its good to make goals now...even if they don't always turn out as planned.
My Resolutions: My main one is to exercise more. I realize this year that it is something that I enjoy and keeps me zen. I also am going to to just "do". This might not make a whole lot of sense, but to me it does. I want to just do more, say yes more, be adventurous. I did that more this summer and I want to keep it up if I can. You never know...might make some road trips this summer. I guess the last thing goes without saying if you know me, but as good as I have been over break I want to be even better. I need to get myself figured out, find some peace, and find some solid friends. I don't know if I can break some ties, but depending how things go I might have no other choice.
My hope for this new year is a lot less headaches and a lot more fun for everyone. Life can get you down believe me and it can drive you crazy, but you have to know that things can always get better and life takes time. I'm slowly learning this. For all my friends know that no matter what happens and no matter where you are I'm here for you. If you want to have fun hit me up, but if you ever need to talk about anything I am here too. Enjoy tonight and Here's Hoping we have an Amazing New Year!!!