Labels

Who are you? How do you define yourself?

I feel like when you go to small schools all your life its easy to fall into the pit of labels. You get labeled, you label others, some where them with pride, while other hide them in shame. Mistakes can get you labeled, but so can personal beliefs. Labels are so messy and confusing it really shouldn't be used, but I don't know if that day will ever really come. I say that because as open minded as I am I know I label too, its difficult to not do.

Looking at myself I know I get labeled so many different things, some I wear with pride, while some I worry people take the wrong way. I think half the problem with labels is that people are assuming so much about a person with out really knowing them or trying to understand the truth. I really dislike word of mouth, I would rather go right to the source...though people might not always be willing to discuss something at least I asked, at least I attempted to get the truth.

Labels can cause a lot of pain and sometimes people don't realize a good thing can be bad too. I know it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. I guess to me lately my life has come into perspective and the idea of being labeled an "awesome friend" has both benefits and frustrations. Don't get me wrong I love being a friend to people and helping them out when they need me...I just worry I get labeled that too much.

Why would this be a problem? Good question.
For one it opens me up to get taken advantage of, used because people can count on me and know I will be there regardless. The one that's kinda bugged me lately is the fact that I get labeled as this friend, when sometimes I want to be more. I would love to eventually have a relationship or at least be able to talk to someone, which is hard to do when people just don't look at you that way at all. Not much I can do about I know, but heck it gets frustrating sometimes. I am content right now being single I just wished people actually saw more in me...I mean I see it. (Maybe these people need glasses? lol) I think to other frustration is I can't catch a break, this really has nothing to do with anyone else but me. I just feel that every person I get close to runs me over or plays me hard. Whoever I'm suppose to be with is out there just not sure where right now...lol, I guess I hope he doesn't pass me up because of my friend label...Here's Hoping!!!

Figuring Things Out...Checking In

I am at odds...

Recap, I have been back on campus a minute and been having sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun till sadly classes started...but hey that is why I am here. Regardless I realized this week that my life from now on will be dull and boring. :(
Ok that's a lie, when is my life truly boring...I will never let this come to pass!!! Classes have me freaked out a bit just because of the amount of work required, but like I said this is what I am here for and I will get it done!...hopefully ;)
I am observing/ working at a school in town for 3 hours straight. This teacher is gonna use me to her full advantage, which I have no problem with considering this is what I want to do for a living. I am back interning at the lovely preschool with a whole new class that I already adore! They are so sweet and oddly quiet in comparison to the class last year.
My Bday is this week! Turning 21 and I just can't wait!!! So I apologize in advance for all the crazy things that might happen, cuz I know me and I know they will...bahahahaha
In other news: I guess I am trying to work on me, as always. Been working out more and I am feeling good about myself. I am by far more social this year and tryin to meet new people and get involved in other things. My friends are growing in numbers and this makes me sooooooooooo happy, not like I didn't have friends before but the more diverse my friends are the better I feel and the more I get pushed into attending things/joining things. Sometimes I need a little push to get out...lol
I am using this house to my advantage and have cooked quite a bit already and I bought more pasta today so I know there will be cooking in my future...maybe in real close future cuz I am getting hungry.

So as you may have noticed this entry is titled "Figuring Things Out...Checking In"....well I did the checking in part now to explain the 1st part. I am trying to figure out a lot this term/ year. I don't know how long it is gonna take, but I guess I will find out. I have to figure some stuff out with certain people here and at home. I am personally at odds with a friend at home and well...we will see how this goes. As for people here, I know one friend for sure I need to talk to, but considering where I am I have no idea if I can do it. I just get so mad and sad and I try really hard not to let my emotions hit me like that, but it just happens. Its really hard to be the good friend and to feel hurt at the same time...beyond that idk. I will figure all the things out, I always do. Here's Hoping!

Running Around

This week is crazy with so much to do and so little time. I have commitments like classes, work, volunteering and dance, but Studying needs to be done too. It drives me crazy trying to work everything out. My parents are coming this weekend which is exciting and I have basically set aside Saturday just for them. I just really need to focus and get things done with all the free time I have, which isn't much. On a lighter note I am in love with volunteering! I love the kids I hang out with at the preschool and I will fight tooth and nail for that internship! Good Luck to me! Any who back to work and using free time :/

Sick and Tired

One thing that gets me about school is that with out fail I get sick. Today I woke up with either allergies or a cold, I am not sure which. I ended up being a slug all day. I took medicine and a nap, but with out fail my body still refuses to be nice. My hope is that by tomorrow I will be fine. Tomorrow is such a busy day with class, dance tryouts, my job, and the soccer game I am gonna need all the energy that I have to make it through. I am jus soooooooo busy this term it might make me go crazy. I have to admit though being busy is better then just sitting around, at least for me that is.
On a different note, I had a talk with a friend last night and came to a few realizations. 1.Nothing is truely perfect, even if it seems to be so. 2. The person you are ment to be with is never perfect. 3. Mistakes will happen until you grow and learn from them. 4.You might not know something is a mistake until later when looking back. 5. Even though you might not get what you want right now, your reward might be in the future. Here is hoping!!!