Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Love Fell Out With Me...

"Falling in Love with Love is falling for make-believe!
Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool!
Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy!
Learning to trust is just for children in school.
I fell in Love with Love one night when the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes unable to see!
I fell in Love with Love with love ever-lasting.
But Love fell out, with me!!! "
Well I took the lyrics from the Cinderella movie, but I guess it kinda makes sense. Don't assume I am writing this out of anger or sadness because in reality I am pretty happy right now being free and single. I guess I just got this song stuck in my head and kinda related. I feel like I fall in love with people now and in the past who in turn let me down or at least make me feel stupid. It is hard to trust people after everything I have been through, but I keep trying. I just wish things got easier or people were more reliable. I end up feeling like a fool with all these people who turn their back on me when I never turn my back on them. I have so much respect for love and its power. I guess that's where the little girl in me comes out. I look at love as this amazing, beautiful, and wondrous thing. I fight for the people I love and I don't back down, but not everyone looks at love that way. Some people don't feel its worth the fight or they are not even open enough to love. I guess I can say I am one of the lucky ones because I have been in love, even though the love did not last. I know what it feels like, I know the challenges, and yet I'm still hoping to find love again. My problem is lately I have fallen for the wrong people as may of us do. I fall in love with who people CAN be and they break my heart with who they ARE. I see the good in people and the amazing strength, resilience, and heart that they have even if they don't show it or see it in themselves. It tears me in two sometimes because I fall and fight for this person I see when this person can be a jerk, stubborn, or hurtful to me. I guess what bothers me about it now is that I feel I deserve more. I deserve to be cared about in the same way I have cared so much about others. I should never be hurt on purpose or brought to tears. I am finally realizing that I can have it all because I deserve it. I might not be a super model or  an insanely amazing athlete, but I am beautiful and so is my heart. One day someone will see this and love will find its way back to me again....but until then I am going to have fun and be crazy, funny, adventurous me! Here's Hoping Love Finds It Way To You Too!

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