Monday, July 23, 2012

Love is Love

When I found this picture I fell in love with it because this is how I feel completely. If you fall in love then it shouldn't matter who its with. I guess I connect to this in a number of different ways, but one thing that I have been thinking about lately is the acceptance of certain relationships. Life is too short to judge people and the choices they make, if its not your life and the choices you would make then I'm sorry, but it is what it is...move on. The only person you can control is yourself and you should just learn to accept everyone else.

I guess what gets me and isn't on this picture, but seems affect me the most is the problems people have with interracial relationships. I have been apart and have no problem with interracial relationships, but other people can have serious problems with it. It may not be the main topic of discussion today and some people may think this country is past that type of racism put it gently that's BS. There is still this fear and separation that occurs and its gonna take open minded people to change that. To be honest its kinda sad to think that you would waste time out of your day to be angry about things you can't control, about two people who are happy, living their lives and not bothering you in the least.

I have loved men who were strong, caring, funny, passionate, driven, and just amazing people, I loved them for who they are and what they did. They treated people with respect and worked their ass off to do what they could for themselves and their families. I ain't gonna lie, I admire these men and my love for them runs deep to this day. It just astonishes me to know that no matter how much love two people can have for each other and no matter how amazing a person is people will judge. See the reason that they judge me at least is that I am white and the men that I speak of...well they aren't, they are mostly black.

I didn't seek it out, like I said I fell for the people that they were, it was actually surprising to me how people responded. There were some people who couldn't get past the outside color of he and I for whatever reason. I have had to face many two faced people because of my heart. People including family members on both sides that will look at your face and smile, but want nothing more then the relationship to end. There will always be those who stare, make faces of disgust, or do double takes to which I don't even pay attention to anymore.  You have to have a thick skin and a strong, fighting heart to be in an interracial relationship. Just like any other it takes work its just that sometimes it takes a little bit more work then most. With that being said not everyone will put up a fight about relationships because I know a whole generation is more open minded then the last. Personally my friends have always been supportive.

I never regret following my heart even if it has gotten broken and I will continue to follow it no matter where it leads. Love is Love no matter who it is with. Even if you feel challenged know that if this person makes you happier then you ever been then its worth the fight. Following your heart takes courage, following your heart down a different path takes guts. Not everyone is strong enough to put it all out there and follow their heart where ever it leads so take pride in that. I just thought I would share my story and speak my mind on this.

So here's hoping you keep following your heart no matter where it leads!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Lack of Open Mind

What do I treasure the most, I guess in people that would be an open mind. I was raised under the golden rule: "Do onto others as you would want them to do onto you." I guess I always took that to heart and never pushed my thoughts onto other people. I always listened with an open heart and mind, I would like to think I still do. There is a definite part of me that doesn't judge and tries to be open, but the truth is after attending college judging occasionally occurs lol. I guess I can't get past certain things or at least I realize I would never do them. As far as I have found this generation is more open minded then the past and that can never be a bad thing. I try and surround myself with open minded people, but sometimes you can't avoid the differences or those who can't open their mind. This truly is made even harder when the people you are suppose to be closest to, well disagree.

I was told disagreement makes your brain work, makes you think about what you may have never considered. This to be honest is true, but in some cases...well its just best to accept each others opinions as they are and move on, there will be no changing them. Everyone has that road block conversation at least once where neither side is making any progress...I ran into one last night. It is truly the most frustrating thing. You may ask yourself what could have possibly have been discussed that could frustrate a calm, innocent thing like me...ok maybe I'm not calm and innocent but I'm passionate darn it! lol Well truth is it doesn't take much, at least not with certain people who may not be as open minded, for me to get frustrated.

I've lived for 21 years now and I have had my ears open listening to people and making up my own mind about things. I have a drive to just be me and do what makes me happy. I have been blessed with a backing of values and morals to guide me in my life. It just gets frustrating to have those who gave me these values and morals disagree with my choices. Regardless I will keep fighting for my open minded life even if its tiring and frustrating sometimes. If I find happiness then why should I give it up and be miserable because of other peoples perceptions of how my life should go? Its just sad to know the people I want to make proud can't accept something that makes me happy, like someone I love. Inhale....exhale...

I'm strong, but like most people I have weak moments. There are points where words get to me and the feeling of failure and disappointment run me ragged, but I still get up. I fight in my own way because I feel that what I am fighting for is worth it. Here's Hoping You Stay Open Minded and Never Stop Fighting!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

What You Can Learn From The Movies...

There are so many things that the movies teach don't go around the dark scary corner, happy people don't kill people, cars can be aliens, vampires sparkle (Abe Lincoln could spot them easier), be careful what you wish a talking teddy bear or Channing Tatum shirtless. The funny thing is that you can find the funniest and truest lessons in the strangest places. So this is where this movie I watched comes was rated only one star, can't see why....regardless its this movie called She's Out of My League. I basically watched it because it has been playing constantly on E! for the past couple weeks. Its just a silly movie that puts a girl considered a 10 with a guy who considers himself a hard 5 when it comes to looks and everything. I guess your wondering what I could have possibly got out of this movie besides a waste of two hours, well there was a nice ending to be honest. The guy throughout the movie was told and felt like this girl was out of his league, that he was a hard 5 while she was a perfect 10. At the end there is this overwhelming realization so to speak that it's not that he isn't good enough for this girl, but he isn't good enough for himself.

This kinda is true though if you think about it. I mean I'm not gonna lie I have had those feelings before that I just was not good enough for someone. It's funny really because if you take the time to think about it that person wouldn't be talking to you or with you if they felt that was the case. People can have bad experiences or made to feel not worthy which can change the way they view themselves. I for one never got much attention from boys besides on the soccer field or dealing with homework so I got down on myself. You set restrictions or give yourself a number to avoid getting your hopes up and getting hurt. The truth is your only hurting yourself because the people you push away may very well like you and see you clearer then you see yourself. I'm getting use to this idea more and more over the past year and I'm still working on it. You have to see the beauty in yourself for someone else to see it in you. It is all about being comfortable and confident!

So this leads me to my summer goal. Some of you may know that I have been trying to workout more and loose weight. The great thing is that for once I am actually doing it and succeeding. I have always felt uncomfortable and I have been less then confident in my body, well I am happy to report a turn around. After hard work and eating right I have gained a lot more confidence and comfort with myself, I would go as far to call it pride. In total at this point I have dropped 20 lbs this year, which is a lot and I'm still pretty far from my goal. Hopefully (fingers crossed) I will be at goal weight by the end of the year. Regardless I feel amazing and I know it shows based on how much I've been smiling and how much fun I had at the club last weekend. One thing I know now more then ever is that I am good enough...for myself, if you don't like it there's the door.
Here's Hoping I Keep it Going and Keep Smiling!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Starting Over

So first I want to apologize for all the kinda depressing Being locked up for a long time, bed rest, oh and being home can have a strange effect on me, sorry bout that. Now I plan on starting over...hi I'm Megan how are you? lol Seriously though I guess I'm trying to turn over a new leaf like always. I seem to be on a quest for the right leaf, never seems to find it though.

In other news I have truly made an effort to at least clean house in the literal and figurative sense. Not only is my house a lot cleaner (with the exception of my room which is a work in progress) I have made some big girl decisions about who should be in my life. I deleted some numbers and I'm being brave not knowing where life is gonna take me, but knowing certain people are not gonna be on the journey with me. I told a friend about it and we kinda laughed. See maybe its just us and being stubborn, but we held on to people longer then we should've, 4 years to be exact. Our thinking being that we loved them and though we may not be together that friendship was worth hanging on to for all its worth...but it wasn't. Now I have no hard feelings, but its kinda sad and hard to cut ties with someone you were so close to. My friend pointed out it was much needed though because after a while the friendship was one sided and not a strong as it was before. You just have to press on and know that some people are not meant to be there forever even if you want them to be. So I did it, I let go and surprisingly I am still alive lol.

Alive enough to work at my new desk, clean up my stuff and try and organize myself some before the end of the month...when I have to pack up again to head back to school. In the meantime I've been trying to workout and play Just Dance as much as possible....with the exception of when I get distracted by
Here's Hoping for Many More Bright Days! (Not too bright, can't stand this 110 Degrees Thing)