Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fear of Movies

Ok so I realized after to talking to some friends and writing this stupid Anso paper that I have fears of ridiculous things. The main one that I guess might make no sense to most people is my fear of going to the movies. Its not so much a fear as I just don't like it at all. I have nothing but bad experiences when I go to a movie theater and I figure I could better use my time. I'm also cheap and don't want to pay so much to see it, if I wait it will come out on cable, or DVD if I really want to see it over and over again. I guess this whole problem stems from jus having bad experiences and being lazy as all

The bad experiences:
1) Being at the movies with my sister is too much. She be extra loud and laughing, I can't even hear whats going on.
2) Always had to see what she wanted to see. Yes, that meant that I had to see Thomas the Train instead of Laura Croft (...And before you all get started, yes I liked Thomas the Train...when I was 5, but at 12 that was a shitty movie).
3) Went to the movies for my bff's bday expecting, as I was told, other people were coming. No one showed up besides her then bf...lets just say its awkward as all hell and made me pissed that she wanted to sit right next to me.
4) Had my bday and went the movies, told all my friends, no one could make it :(
.....Bad things just happen there, so I'm not a fan...not to mention I have like a problem with sitting still that long. I don't care how crazy that makes me, there are other ways of having fun...if you don't believe that we need to talk.

Monday, October 10, 2011

What Dance Means to Me

There is nothing like being on stage. Having the light shining down on you and knowing people have come to see you preform. All the energy that is on that stage in those few moments you can't explain. Its a beautiful feeling that I love. When I dance I just feel the music and move. Its expression and passion rolled into one. I have danced with injuries and anger, but it only makes the feeling that much more powerful. Apart of me wishes I took dance more seriously when I was younger and got more training, but regardless I still love to dance. In a moment you can express something without any words and feel the most beautiful connection with your body. When I freestyle it is almost like my mind turns off and I just go. I respect anyone who is a dancer and those who do it professionally. It is immensely hard at times and takes training to perfect any style. Dance is a sport and I will kick some one's ass if they disagree. We train just as hard and deserve to be seen a professional athletes as well as performers. I know I am still training myself every time I dance under a different instructor/ choreographer. My hope is before I graduate I can actually choreograph a piece to perform here at college. It will be one of the hardest and most challenging things that I have ever done. I am hoping it comes out amazing though, because dance is something that I have loved since I was able to walk. It is apart of me and no matter what happens in life I will continue to dance. Here's Hoping!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Going For It

I am putting myself out there and trying to take some control of myself at the same time. It sounds funny, but life has got me spinning. Yes, I am in control of myself, but sometimes I need to do what is best for me and not others so I am gonna take that step in being a little more selfish. I have to do me and I have been trying to do that without compromise. I am feeling stronger and happier in a way. I have to stop doing what I think others want from me because in the end I am only there for myself. I have to be strong for me, not you. If you think that playing with me and my feelings is helpful to this process....memo to you: Its NOT!, but with this said I'm not gonna let you hurt me any more. I'm basically writing a goodbye letter to you and your games and walking away. Its time for me to go for it and walk blindly forward. I have no idea what will be in front of me, but I know it will be better then what I left behind me. I am gonna try and be strong and go forward in this unknown frontier. I know I am may falter, but in the end as long as I keep pushing forward I know I am doing what is best for me. Here's Hoping!