Friday, April 6, 2012


Who are you? How do you define yourself?

I feel like when you go to small schools all your life its easy to fall into the pit of labels. You get labeled, you label others, some where them with pride, while other hide them in shame. Mistakes can get you labeled, but so can personal beliefs. Labels are so messy and confusing it really shouldn't be used, but I don't know if that day will ever really come. I say that because as open minded as I am I know I label too, its difficult to not do.

Looking at myself I know I get labeled so many different things, some I wear with pride, while some I worry people take the wrong way. I think half the problem with labels is that people are assuming so much about a person with out really knowing them or trying to understand the truth. I really dislike word of mouth, I would rather go right to the source...though people might not always be willing to discuss something at least I asked, at least I attempted to get the truth.

Labels can cause a lot of pain and sometimes people don't realize a good thing can be bad too. I know it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. I guess to me lately my life has come into perspective and the idea of being labeled an "awesome friend" has both benefits and frustrations. Don't get me wrong I love being a friend to people and helping them out when they need me...I just worry I get labeled that too much.

Why would this be a problem? Good question.
For one it opens me up to get taken advantage of, used because people can count on me and know I will be there regardless. The one that's kinda bugged me lately is the fact that I get labeled as this friend, when sometimes I want to be more. I would love to eventually have a relationship or at least be able to talk to someone, which is hard to do when people just don't look at you that way at all. Not much I can do about I know, but heck it gets frustrating sometimes. I am content right now being single I just wished people actually saw more in me...I mean I see it. (Maybe these people need glasses? lol) I think to other frustration is I can't catch a break, this really has nothing to do with anyone else but me. I just feel that every person I get close to runs me over or plays me hard. Whoever I'm suppose to be with is out there just not sure where right, I guess I hope he doesn't pass me up because of my friend label...Here's Hoping!!!

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