Wednesday, May 9, 2012

1 Month Later

Taking in the sights and sounds of life. One month or so since my last post and a lot has gone on. My life has gone up and down, but I think I've grown from it all. I some how made it through teaching the whole morning of 1st grade for some odd weeks now. I have managed to not kill anyone and make an amazing dance with my partner in crime Mac. Flunk Day (day of debauchery and no classes) finally happened and I got to cross off some serious mini goals. The weather has gone up and down and so has my mood. I guess its the stress of getting ALL THE THINGS done and still surviving this term. It seems easier said then done by far, but I will pull through. I know the other thing I have to stress about is waiting for me with open arms at home. Nothing says summer like family issues and cleaning :)

In other news I think I'm just going to let my mind go and type some nonsense...
I guess I have been thinking too much again, but at the same time I feel like I have gotten into a mess of sorts. I have managed to open so many doors and follow so many paths that I am getting dizzy. I can't commit to just one because I guess I am scared...that is except for one path. I been crawling on this path for what feels like forever, but I can't turn back. It is like I see the light more and more. I know it just as well could be an illusion, but I just want it to be real so bad. So I guess this is were questions come into play: If you have been waiting for something so long should you continue to wait? Am I crazy for wanting to, for caring so much about something that may never be?

I probably am, but its hard especially if what you are waiting on is a person. In someways a person is worse then anything else because they are never truly yours and they are so complicated. For example, if I look at myself I get so confused with people and life, but still have moments of clarity. I know if someone hurts you that they should be gone, especially those who use you, but I guess sometimes things hold me back from letting go. At times its my warped idea of love and maybe not truly loving someone, but caring about a part of them or who you think you see. (More To Come!!!!)

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