So I guess by the title you can figure out that maybe I haven't had the best couple of days. I did come to a realization about some things. I realize I don't know what I want right now and I have no business looking for something. Why should I go looking for a relationship when I don't even know that is what I need? I came to this realization in the worst way possible; I stood up someone on a date. Yes, I know how rude, but I got scared and freaked out. Then it hit me...maybe I am not ready for this, this whole relationship thing as much as I think I am. In my mind it was something I have been longing for and waiting for, but now that I started really looking around I feel like there is no one in my life right now worth my heart. What is the point of making due...besides the feeling lonely sometimes and all the benefits that come with a relationship...but besides that...lol. I just feel that someone has to be out there worth my heart, otherwise all the drama and pain I have had to deal with was for nothing. Its hard thinking that its gonna take time for this person to show up, but as much as I hate waiting I can't put myself through more heartache and drama for something that last for a minute. The glitter of a quick way out of loneliness is not worth the pain of being in one that fails miserably. I want more and I think I have finally realized I am worth more...with that being said if some guy comes by and he is cute....well there are loopholes, lol (I'm through with guys, they all tell lies, they break your heart and make you cry. Loving guys is such a sin.......ooh! check out that guy that just walked in! )
I just need to work on me some more before I attempt anything. Here’s Hoping!
P.S. This song got me in the mood to write this!!! So Click The Link!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlxB9zGH8GU&feature=BFa&list=FLCM828QP0aNE&index=16
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