Monday, September 27, 2010

Caught in the Middle With Them...

I am constantly at odds with myself. Constantly at a crossroads unsure of which way to go. I never am 100% sure of myself and it drives me and others crazy. This goes out to those I might hurt because of my lack of decision making skills. Eventually, I will figure these things out and hopefully it won't end with me losing my sanity or my friendships. I am struggling with handling so many things at once and trying not to make choices that will end in serious turmoil. For one, my major is in the balance and I am not sure if I want to be an elementary or a secondary teacher. Big decisions like who to hangout with during my free time hurt me because I am busy all the time. I want to chill with everyone, but sometimes it is just really hard. Last but not least romantics don't avoid me. To have a heart in itself is a painful thing. My mind and heart wander constantly to people who are in my life. I guess it goes to the idea of wanting to be loved, but to find the right person is hard. I don't know what I need yet and I don't know if anyone around me fits the bill. Maybe clarity will invade my life with its goodness.....maybe

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