Monday, July 18, 2011

Cleaning House

So I am finally cleaning my room today. Mind you that it isn't that dirty, just cluttered with all the college boxes I have refused to unpack. Most of it is going back to school with me in a month so I just don't see the point. But yesterday I got a new, taller bookshelf for my room and since I have no patience I have begun cleaning out the space so I can put up my new bookshelf. With this new handy bookshelf my dreams of becoming the Disney Princess Belle is finally coming true (she was the one who had the whole library and was a book worm in case you weren't aware). Nonetheless I am happy to have more storage for all my books and things. I just need to clean up whats left in my room and maybe one day I will get the desk I dream day. Any who I realize how much I just don't want to clean my room, I feel like I make little to know progress when I try. I admit I have way too much stuff. I need to get rid of a lot of it and I am trying. Currently I am working on donating things so that way I don't feel bad about getting rid of them. My closet is one thing that I know I need to go through, but its so hard to get rid of things, idk maybe I am weird but I just don't know when I might need something. I feel like its harder now because I am starting to get more nice clothes I can wear to school for observation and eventually student teaching. My closet is just overwhelmed. I really need to just purge my room of all the things I don't use so I can just have the basics. Eventually my room will be where I want it, but with the constant moving in and out of my room its hard to keep up. I know once I get it where I want it, it will be time to leave. Just thinking about it is exhausting. Time for a, I wish.

I do have a question though, why is it so hard to get rid of things. I find that I put so much into objects that is is so hard to part with them. Take for example stuffed animals, while some girls have two or three I have a bunch sitting on a futon in my room. I can't really part with them because they all have names and have a story, but its not like I play with them. They just sit in my room collecting dust and only a chosen two sit in my bed. How do you get rid of things like that, things you develop close attachments to but no longer enjoy as you once did? I think the saddest one I have isn't even a stuffed animal, its a hoodie. A boys hoodie that sits on a high shelf in my closet folded that I haven't worn since high school. It has good memories tied to it and I personally can't find the strength to throw it away or donate it and he won't take it back. I don't wear it because I feel a disconnect since I am no longer his girlfriend and he moved on, but for some reason every time I come across it I can't get rid of it.........................idk why........maybe its the memories, maybe its the pain of letting go, maybe its the fear that you won't remember...

P.S. I loved the book above when I was a kids, mainly because it reminded me of my

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