Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Mirror, Mirror...

I look in the mirror and I realize I don't know who I'm and it frightens me. I have tried to be perfect all my life and that is no way to live. I know my flaws by far and in high school and especially coming to college I realized that I am far from perfect. I am instead a girl trying to do the best she can under a massive mix of circumstances. I guess it worries me because I have come to a point where I question who I am and where I am going amongst so many people who are so sure of themselves. What made me go down this path I am on? All I can think of is my fear of disappointment, doing what is expected, and my goal of helping people. All the "what ifs" pop in my head and I wonder if I made a mistake some where. I am not sure if its just the fear that comes along with making a solid commitment or just the nerves of my education coming to a close in a year. The sad part is that I know that there is not one person out there who can give me the right answer. Not even my

Then there comes the more important dilemma...who am I?
I guess no person can really answer this question fully or completely get at 21...but I guess I'm desperate for some answers. Here's what I got...let me know if you disagree or have something to add!
I am a daughter, sister, granddaughter, and friend. I am a woman, though I call myself a girl...its habit lol. I'm a hard worker, dancer, artist, and lover. I am a girl that has so much trouble looking in the mirror and liking what I see. I have a long history that I try to not let affect me, but I realize it affects my life everyday. I'm a survivor and a fighter that has moments of pure exhaustion. Please understand I say all this to admit my imperfection to those of you who read and also to myself. I am far from the perfect daughter I appear to portray, but I do the best I can. I don't like what I see in the mirror so its time for me to change it. If can overcome my faults, my history to become better then I will, I have no choice if I want to move forward. Here's Hoping after a lot of work things will get better!

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